The Golden Rule is Cool

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christianity, family, life, love, writing

I’m sure we’ve all seen the quote, “In a world where you can be anything, be kind.” It’s on shirts, window clings for the car, hats, cups…it’s everywhere. Along the same lines with the quotes about “Raising Kind Humans”. I think it’s pretty good advice and I try to be kind in every situation. Just as Mark and I try to raise Izayah to be a kind human. We raised our big kids to be kind and I think that worked out.

Recently Izayah came home from school and I could tell that he was upset about something. As per usual, as he was having is snack, we chatted about his day at school. I asked him the usual questions, Did you have a good day? Who did you sit with at lunch? Did you help anyone today? Did anyone help you today? Those are the standard 4 questions everyday, and then he tells me the highlights of his day. It’s my favorite part of the day!

Later, he came over and asked me if I knew _____ and _____ and I said that I did. He proceeded to tell me that “their parents work for good companies and make a lot of money and ______ and ______ think that makes them Kings of the World.” The frustration in his voice was clear and my heart sunk…He immediately followed that up with, “But that’s not right.”

This is something that has plagued the generations, probably since Adam and Eve ate the fruit of the forbidden tree. I told Izayah the same thing that I told my big kids when they had similar experiences. “It doesn’t matter how much money a person has, that’s not what makes you a good person. What makes you a good person is how you treat people. We need to always try and treat others the way we ourselves would like to be treated. Being a good person is 100% free, everyone can afford to do it.”

I think that we can all agree that raising kids is hard, like really hard. But I think something we can easily forget is that being a kid is hard, like really hard. Kids absolutely learn by example, there is no disputing that, and we all know what it’s like to be a kid and want to “fit in”. It doesn’t matter where or who that example comes from or even if it’s not a good one, kids are watching and they are learning. In today’s society, they have even more examples…right at the tips of their fingers with social media, and I think we can all agree, not all of them are good examples.

Sometimes we find ourselves justifying why we have treated others poorly or why they have treated us poorly. What we should do, and what I am going to try to do is be kind anyway. Being kind can be hard, no doubt about that, but it isn’t just a trend, it’s real life, and it effects everyone we come into contact with. There is another quote that says, “Kindness is free, sprinkle that stuff everywhere.” Let’s do that, even when it’s hard.

Playing Dress up For Real- Your Wedding Day

Today is the day…you are getting married. Your love story is a unique one, as most of them are. In my heart I know that it was started by God from the day you were conceived and is culminating today when you change your last name. But for me, it began when you started planning for your summer in South Korea three years ago. I told your dad that I just knew you were going to find a man over there, fall in love, get married and stay there. I was being selfish and I started praying for you to find someone special before you left, so you had a “reason” to come back. Then, along came Jesse….

Before I had even met Jesse, I knew he was “the one” just from the way you talked about him. You were smitten. Once I met him, it was obvious he was too. Watching your relationship grow from afar was something so exciting and almost rare with couple your age. The way that you guys showed love and respect for each other is something that I hope will never change between the two of you. I wholeheartedly believe the way you guys met was guided by God’s hands and it was absolutely meant to be.

Every parent wants someone who will care for their daughter in the ways of making her smile, making her laugh…a LOT, supporting her dreams, making her feel safe, and showing her respect. We have seen all of those ways and more from Jesse. We have also seen you give those things back to him ten fold. This makes it “easier” to “give you away” when it is to someone who loves you with the same heart as we do, but in a different way that only husbands and wives share.

Soon you will get your hair done, you will do your make-up, and you will put your beautiful dress on and you will walk down the path to your life as a married woman, but in my minds eye, you will always be the little girl with the blue lipstick playing dress up.

Even though you chose to elope and we won’t be there in person, know that we are there with you in Spirit and we are there with you in your hearts and in ours. You asked me the other night when we were on the phone if I had any words of wisdom. I couldn’t think of any at the time, but now I will say to both of you: Always remember why you fell in love. During tough times, go to your memories, remember things that drew you to one another. Never stop surprising each other, and never take each other for granted. Just because you got married, doesn’t mean you should stop dating!!

Today is the day…your wedding day. It is meant to be the best day of your lives. Two become one but the love is multiplied.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” ~1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Focus on Your Cake

I think most people like a good piece of cake, I know I do!! Birthday cake, wedding cake, cheesecake!! It’s all good right?

Recently someone told me they didn’t want my heart to get distracted with things I can’t control. She said that I need to give these things to Jesus and let Him control the outcome. She reminded me that that is always better than what we think will happen anyway. She must not understand how hard that is!! (Honestly, I know that she does!). I can’t speak for anyone else, but I would venture a guess that this is something we ALL need help doing from time to time.

To be quite honest, when I got the above mentioned reminder, I was a little upset about it. That being said, I am the type of person who likes to take a few days and reflect about things that happened or things that were said. I wish I could say that I was always like that, but that is just simply not true. Anyway- I thought about what my friend had said and I really wanted to be able to take her advice, but I guess the timing was just not quite right. BUT…the ebb and flow of life has a way of changing things. And for that we can be thankful.

A guilty pleasure of mine is Tik Tok….I know I know, don’t judge me 🙂 Anyway- a while back I was scrolling and there was a gal who was talking about her cake. She uses “Cake” as a metaphor for life. Her cake is her home and the people in her home, her husband and her kids. Friends, extended family, coworkers etc. are the icing on the cake. It is important to have a yummy delicious cake before you can add the icing. Interesting right?!

A few days ago something happened that made me think back to the advice I had mentioned earlier and it also made me think about this gal and her cake. It was at that moment that I knew that my friend was right. I did need to give the things I can’t control to Jesus and let Him handle it. I just need to focus on my cake. No matter how much we would like to, we CANNOT control what others do or the choices they make.

There will be many times in life when we will need reminded that we have things in our lives that we can’t control, but for now, I am focusing on my cake, and it is pretty darn good. I am also consider myself very fortunate that I not only have a wonderful cake, but I have some amazing icing!! How is your cake?

Go Ahead…Make that Mistake!

Have you ever been scrolling through your social media and you see a quote, meme, picture etc. that immediately makes you think of a certain someone? Sometimes it brings a smile to your face, sometimes it can bring a tear to your eye, and sometimes it can just plain make you irritated, and you think to yourself, “Oh! So and so needs to see this!!” I know I can’t be the only one.

I saw this particular one a few weeks ago and I had that very reaction…just plain irritated! It took me back to a place in time that wasn’t particularly enjoyable for anyone that was involved and therefore a lot of big emotions are attached with those memories. BUT…it did make me think about how absolutely accurate this statement is: “A mistake that makes you humble is better than an accomplishment that makes you arrogant.”

Mistakes are just a part of life, plain and simple. We ALL make them, no one is immune from making mistakes. They do serve a purpose believe it or not. They are designed to teach us something, make us better, or maybe even see someone else’s point of view…BUT only if we allow them to. WHAT?! Here’s an even bigger shocker. Sometimes they can even show us that we need help. I’m not talking about help around the house, or help with homework or any of those types of things, I am talking about BIG help, like the help that comes with getting and STAYING sober.

I do not claim to be an expert about alcoholism, I am sure that I know very little about it. I know and acknowledge that it is a disease and it is heavily linked with mental illness, which I also do not claim to be an expert on. The one thing that I know with 100% certainty is this: A person CANNOT get OR STAY sober “alone” or “on my own” even if they think they can, even if they think they are invincible.

Over the course of the last few years, I have witnessed someone battle the bottle and every time, the bottle won. Start off strong, 1…2…3…4…months, then relapse. During the time when sobriety seemed to be happening, the question would be asked, “How are you doing with your sobriety?” The answer (more than once) was always, “Really good. This is the first time I’ve been sober for this long by myself.” Or, “on my own”. This was repeated several times in a short two and a half year period. At one point, a full year of sobriety was reached. Twelve. Whole. Months. Can you guess what happened? If you said a relapse, you would be correct. Do you know what I also noticed during the times when sobriety was happening? Arrogance. Whenever “on my own” or “by myself” was said, it was said with some kind of attitude that was telling those that were listening that “I don’t need/want you” and I always had the same thought, “But you DO need help!! That’s why you continue to relapse…Don’t you get it?!” There was literally a whole TEAM of people that repeatedly tired to help you, gave you the resources to use, and we were just dismissed with the arrogance of “on my own”.

The other thing about sobriety (and life in general) that I know with 100% certainty is that it is all about choices. We all have them. Sometimes we make good ones, and sometimes we don’t. When we don’t, that is usually when the mistakes come. They aren’t fun and no one likes them, but we CAN use them and we CAN overcome them…IF WE WANT TO!! Own your mistakes (humble yourself), apologize if you need to (humble yourself), ask for help (humble yourself) and use our mistakes to make better choices. We can be proud of our accomplishments, but we can’t forget the mistakes that it took to get there and ultimately we have to remember that it takes a lot of hard work, that ONLY we can do…no one can do it for us. They can support and encourage and HELP us along the way, but the work is ours.

“Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.” ~Unknown

Can I get a refill, please?

I have written before about the question, “How are you?” and most of the time the answer is, “I’m fine.” For a while now, like the last 2+ years, the answer to that question has changed for a lot of people, me included, to “I’m tired.” That does not necessarily mean that we are tired from not sleeping well at night…

There are several ways that statement can be interpreted. A person could be literally tired from not getting enough sleep at night, or a hard days work, or from playing at a game of football, soccer, baseball, etc. A person could also be figuratively tired from a number of things. The biggest factor, in my opinion from figurative tiredness is stress!! Whether that be emotional stress, mental stress, anxiety…it can and does make us “tired”.

Often times we are just tired of things…especially with things that are happening in the country and the world these days. Tired of the kids fighting, tired of rising food costs, tired of high gas prices, tired of picking up dirty socks off the floor, tired of the cold weather, and the list goes on and on. You’ve all seen the quote that says, “Sleep doesn’t help if it’s your soul that’s tired” or “You can’t pour from an empty cup”. For most of us, we see these quotes posted on social media and we scroll right on past them and think, “yeah..ok.”

Now, I am not a big coffee drinker, I have recently started enjoying iced coffee, but I will use coffee as my analogy because I feel many people REALLY enjoy their coffee. A lot of us keep our coffee cups full most of the day right? We are constantly brewing cup after cup or pot after pot so that we can refill our cups. Why is that so easy to do but we find it so hard to refill ourselves from all of the things we are tired of or from? Let’s normalize making ourselves a priority once in a while. It will make us better parents, better spouses, better friends, it will just make us better! Who doesn’t want to be better?

Do something that makes you happy, do something that makes you feel good, do something that ignites the flame in your heart and soul. Don’t think of it as being selfish, because it’s not. We really do need to take care of ourselves before we can take care of others. The next time you feel yourself running on empty, head out and get a refill, you know you deserve it!

We Should Get Together Soon

We all have days when we are on fire. You got up when your alarm went off, kids made it to school on time, they even got breakfast! You made it to where you needed to be on time, you got everything you needed while you were running errands, got the house cleaned, laundry done, supper made, every one is in a great mood. People ask, “How are you today?” and we say, “I’m great thanks! How about you?” Everything just went your way today. You go to bed at the end of this great day with a sense of accomplishment. You’re tired, you’ve had a busy day and you know that you will sleep well. You will thank God for the wonderful day, and ask Him to bless you and your family and make tomorrow another good day!

We have all had days when it is a struggle just to get out of bed, let a lone get the things on your list done. You have a lot on your mind, tons of things to get done, people who want or need your attention, and you are hanging on by what feels like, one tiny little ol’ thread. You think that if one more thing doesn’t go as planned today, that thread will snap. People ask, “How are you today?” and we say “I’m fine thanks! How about you?” Nothing seemed to go how you wanted it too today. You’re tired, but you really haven’t accomplished anything, and you are pretty sure you’re not going to sleep very well. Will you remember to thank God for they day? Even though it sucked. Will you ask Him to bless you and your family? Even though you feel like maybe you don’t deserve it, and your family drove you crazy today. Will you ask Him to make tomorrow better?

Good days and bad days. Believe it or not, they do have a few things in common. 1.) We woke up. 2.) We were loved (even though we may have been hard to love). 3.) There are lessons in every day. 4.) Our answer to “How are you today?” was (basically) the same. Isn’t that interesting??

Do you ever wonder what would happen if we were completely honest when someone asked “How are you today?” For most of us, it is almost habit to say “I’m fine”. Several years ago when I worked in retail, I would ask that question multiple times a day, and that was the typical response. On occasion someone would say “I’ve been better”, or “It’s been one of those days”. I even had “I could complain, but no one would listen anyway.” but those were rare.

Whenever I have one of those days, I am reminded of something my daughter told me years ago. Just because you’ve had a bad day, doesn’t mean you have a bad life. Let’s say that again…Just because you’ve had a bad day, doesn’t mean you have a bad life. Life can sometimes be a struggle, it was not meant to be easy. Life was not meant to be fair. Life is messy. Life is painful. Life is short. But LIFE is always good. Simply being alive…is good.

You are not alone in your good days. You are not alone in your bad days either. It might feel like you are, but you’re not. Every single one of us have not so good days, no one is exempt. Do you know what? It’s OK. There is no rule that says we have to go through our bad days alone!!

I saw this just this week ^^^ and it took my breath away. The same can be said for adults. Some adults are too proud to say, “I had a hard day, can we talk?” They will say, “do you want to have lunch?” or “let’s go shopping.” or if your spouse says, “would you like to go on a date with me?” It really is OK to not be OK all the time. You can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself. Read that again if you need to. Life can get heavy. You have options. Pray on it, then give it to God. Then call a friend and let them know, “we should get together soon!”

Mother’s Day Transformed

Saturday May 9th, my phone rings at 6:40 pm.  It’s the lady from one of our local flower shops telling me that she has a delivery for me and was wondering if I was home.  How exciting!!  The delivery came and it was a beautiful arrangement of fresh flowers from my kids in Oregon for Mother’s Day.  Jesse (the boyfriend) even got his name on the card!  Talk about making a mom’s heart melt. Mother’s Day was the next day, and just like last year, and they year before that, my kids were over a thousand miles away.

In early October of 2019, on a very cold and windy  morning we got a phone call that changed our lives considerably.  Mark’s nephew needed a place to stay, things were not going well where he was and could he come and stay with us…let me add that he is 2 years old!!  Mark and I had been empty nesters for going on 5 years, and our youngest is 23 so it has been a few years since we have had a toddler in the house other than just for a few hours!  At any rate, the decision was not an easy one to come too.  The relationship between us and Mark’s side of the family had been uneasy for quite sometime and we were essentially strangers to this little person.  We all know, or have some idea of what a mess the foster care system is, so we decided that since he had to go somewhere, it might as well be with us.  May actually makes the 7 month mark that he’s been with us and my how our lives have changed.  He has grown, and learned, and so have we.  We are still not sure how long he will be with us, but he is welcome for however long he needs to be.

On Mother’s Day, Mark made pancakes and bacon for breakfast and for most of the morning we just lounged around, it was nice.  Mark had somehow, gotten me flowers…I really am not sure how he did it, I thought we were together all day the day before, but I guess I don’t need to know.  That is part of the reason that man amazes me, I don’t know how he does what he does…it’s pretty amazing.  Anyway- the sun finally came out for awhile so we ventured outside to play.  Mark asked me if there was anything I’d like to do for Mother’s Day.  Since we are in the midst of a pandemic (COVID-19), I chuckled and said “not sure what we would do since everything is closed.”  I did however decide that a DQ Blizzard would hit the spot.  By the time we got ready to go, it was close enough to supper time that we decided to just grab a burger…to go with our ice cream!  Drive-thru of course, with food and treats in hand, we went and sat in the pick up just off the interstate at one of the interstate lakes and watched the traffic, ate our food, and just enjoyed the moment.  It was nice, but I had felt a bit “funky” all day, couldn’t really put a finger on why I was feeling this way.

As we are driving home, Izayah (our nephew) looks up at me, yawns, and says, “I tired.”  First time he’s ever admitted it!!  A minute later, I look over and he is zonked…nothing more precious than a sleeping baby.  It was at that moment, looking into his sleeping face, I finally figured out what my problem was.

At the beginning of this, you will remember that I had gotten flowers on Saturday from the kids in Oregon.  It just so happens that earlier that day, Mark and I had gotten to meet Jesse’s parents who were driving (delivering Jesse’s motorcycle…the things we do for our kids) from Georgia to Bend!!! Their half way point was in Nebraska…the town where we live, so it was only a given that we would meet them…yes, even in the midst of a pandemic!  This makes the 3rd year in a row that Jesse’s mom has been to Bend for Mother’s Day, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t just a little jealous about that.

Mark had noticed, as he always does, that I seemed a bit out of sorts on Sunday.  He had asked me if I was ok, and I said I was, he didn’t believe me…he knows me too well.  I really just felt like since it was Mother’s Day that I was missing my kids a little extra.  It wasn’t until I was looking into the sweet face of this sleeping little person next to me that I could put into words what I was feeling.

It was Mother’s Day and I am spending my day with someone else’s child and my children are spending their day with someone else’s mother…

Saying those words to my husband brought tears to my eyes. He reached across the seat and rubbed my cheek and told me he loved me.  If my kids have to be with someone else’s mother on Mother’s Day, I am glad it is with Jesse’s mom.  She is absolutely wonderful, and even though I have only spent 45 minutes with her (and her hubby) I love them so much!  They spent last year with her too, but I didn’t feel “this” way last year, so why do I this year?

Izayah…he is why I feel this way!!  I in no way shape or form mean that in a bad way…but it was definitely his presence in our lives that brought on these feels.  We started out as strangers, not knowing what to do with each other or the situation that we had all been thrust into, but here we were.  On that cold October morning, we saw a crying, scared little boy who had no idea who we were, where he was or why he was with us or what was going on.  What he saw was probably very similar…a couple of confused adults, worried for this little person who was so upset, and trying desperately to let him know that he was going to be ok…that he could trust us to make sure of that!

 

I won’t go into details, because as I have said, even though he is our nephew, he is also our Foster Child so that does add another layer to the equation.  But I digress,  fast forward to where we are today…Oh. My. Goodness what a change, what a difference, what a crazy ride.  It’s only natural that after 7 months of living with us that we have all bonded in a way that can only be described as unique.

Some day, I would like to do another post here about our experience as a whole with the Foster Care system, but for now, one thing that I want you who have read this far to know is that parenting someone else’s child is hard.  It takes strength, a special kind of patience, lots of love, and the knowledge that your heart will get broken….several times.  But let me tell you something else…it’s worth it.  To watch him transform from who he was when he came to us to who he is now has been absolutely amazing and to know that we had a part in that…no words can describe.

If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together…there is something you must always remember.  You are BRAVER than you believe, STRONGER than you seem, and SMARTER than you think.  But the important thing is, even if we’re apart…We’ll always be with you.

Stop Complaining!

 Several years ago, I worked at the Chamber of Commerce here in my town.  It was a job that I was not expecting, mainly because my mom was the Executive Director at that time.  At any rate, there I was working part time in the same office as my mother…it all worked out well, but it was certainly an experience that I am glad to have had.  Working in the Chamber industry is “different” than any other office job, it is hard to explain other than it’s just “different”.  That job helped make me better qualified for where I am in my current job as church secretary (which I was also doing while I was at the Chamber). I know that you are probably wondering how in the world that is possible…but allow me to elaborate.

One of the things that a Chamber Office does is put on community events, such as here we have Harvest Festival, so our Chamber Office coordinates the parade, Arts in the Park, among other activities and all of these things require volunteers for various things to get done.  During my time at the Chamber Office, part of my job was parade line up, which required upwards of 20 volunteers…just for that ONE event of the day.  The first year that I was with the Chamber we had a Pig Wrestling event…what??… we live in Nebraska, cows are much too temperamental to try and wrestle.  I digress…that was a huge undertaking and required A LOT of volunteers.  It was a good time and definitely something to watch, quite comical actually.  The next year, we did not have that event, one of the main reasons that we didn’t was because we could not get the volunteers needed to pull it off.  Many people complained that the event wouldn’t be held, but when asked if they would like to volunteer there answer was “No”.

It is the same way at church.  I rely on volunteers EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK. and I appreciate them immensely, more than they will ever know.  Just like with the Pig Wrestling  event, there have been events that people enjoyed participating in, but when the next year rolls around and said event isn’t happening, people are bummed because “that was so fun!” but when asked if they would like to volunteer their answer is “No”.

Events, fundraisers, etc. don’t just happen…it takes hard work, long hours, and people A.K.A. volunteers to make things work.  My suggestion is the next time something that you enjoy is not happening, instead of complaining about it, offer to volunteer!!  You might just make someone else happy in the process.  It’s funny how nobody notices what you do until you don’t do it.

Brave Faces

  I haven’t posted here in a while. I guess I haven’t had much to say…for those of you who know me, I know that’s hard to believe. Sometimes we have times in our lives when things are just “different” and we find ourselves dealing with them in a way we weren’t expecting, and I guess maybe that is where I am right now.

Back at the end of May, our daughter left and went on a 3 month trip to Busan, South Korea…yes…South Korea! Now you might ask, why South Korea, after all, it isn’t noted for being the “hottest vacation spot of 2019”. The short version is that she is staying with a family that she got connected with in Lincoln while she lived there, they are from this city in South Korea, they asked her to come, so she did. She had never flown before, let alone setting off on international journey…ALONE and for 3 months!! Her dad and I were terrified, but I was told once by a very wise man, who’s own daughter did international mission trips, that as much as we love our kids, God loves them more and He is with them always…WOW! I can’t tell you how many times I have had to remember that conversation and keep it close to my heart. We had to put on our brave faces for sure!

May 30,2019 Sea-Tac International Airport

What started out as tomfoolery, ended up becoming a prayer. Mark and I really were hoping that Alex would meet someone special before leaving on this trip. We didn’t want her meeting the love of her life in Korea and then end up moving there!! About a month before her trip, enter Jesse, a definite God send, and an answered prayer. A boy from Georgia, a girl from Nebraska, meeting in Oregon… Perfect timing…God’s timing always is. The day came when it was time for her to leave. We wore our smiles, shed some tears… and we put on our brave faces.

“It’s ok to be scared. Being scared means you’re about to do something really, really brave”

Brave faces are worn for many reasons, not just because you, or someone you know is getting on a plane and flying across the world for the first time. The woman who has had a miscarriage and her husband who loves her, the groom on his wedding day, the father of the bride…giving his daughter away, the husband who has just lost his wife and still has little children to care for, the parents who have lost children, the families who send their soldiers off to battle, the policeman or fireman leaving for work in the morning and the wife that he kisses on his way out the door, the person who is “coming out” to their loved ones, the man or woman who has decided it is time to end a marriage… and the list can go on and on and on, we all have our own brave faces. What does your brave face look like?

My son, Andrew at the Space Needle.  May 29, 2019

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“The thing about being brave is it doesn’t come with the absence of fear and hurt. Bravery is the ability to look fear and hurt in the face and say move aside, you are in the way.” ~ Melissa Tumino

 

This is one of the first pictures we got from Alex when she got to Korea. That is quite the brave face!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Since Alex has been in Korea, I have found myself, at times, feeling very fragile, for lack of a better word. It’s an interesting feeling to say the least, and one that I am not used to. For instance, yesterday at church, it was time to “Pass the Peace” and I almost didn’t have any peace to pass…I felt lost, and since we are being honest, the tears came and rolled down my face with an ease that I didn’t even realize.  Isn’t it interesting how feelings can just sneak up on us and catch us completely off guard?  I can tell you with 100% certainty that if it were not for today’s technology allowing us to video chat etc. with her…I would be a basket case and my brave face would look a lot different.

The first picture that I used in this post, is posted to my Facebook page. I took it last Saturday and I had used the caption; “There is always a reason to smile…Find it.”, and I really do believe this to be true. We have all been through some tough times in our lives, but there is always something to smile about…a memory, a lesson learned, people who were there for you during your hard times…take the time to look and you will find that reason…I promise! It’s ok to be sad or mad or whatever other emotion you need to have, but don’t unpack and live there. Deal with it in your way and then move on…and put a smile back on your brave face.

Beautiful Things Can Come From The Worst Storms

A month ago today…March 4, 2018. This turned out to be a very exciting day, in more ways than one.  This was the day that our kids were going to start on their journey to move to Oregon, yes Oregon!

I want to share the following story with you, so please join me:

The first “groupie” of the trip was taken, the Uhaul was loaded (to the gills), as were both kids cars, and Mom and Dad were as ready as we were going to get for them to be so far away. So, with Andrew and his travel companion, his dog Storm, in his car, Alex and me in her car and Mark in the pickup with the Uhaul bringing up the rear, off we went, what a caravan!

The actual drive time to our destination is 19 hours and 48 minutes, which is equal to 1,303 miles, so our plan was to make it to at least Idaho on Day 1 before stopping to find a room for the night.  Since March is still quite capable of producing some big storms, we had been keeping a close eye on the forecast for our route, after all, we are on a schedule and don’t need any surprises!

It had been decided that I would ride with Alex, at least the first day. She has been known (like me) to get tired while driving,   and so I said that I would help drive if needed. It was so fun! We talked, we sang, we acted silly, we laughed and of course, we drove… Of course there were stops for gas and bathroom breaks and a quick lunch. At somepoint after lunch, Alex asked if we could switch and I would drive. No problem!! After all, I had said I would right? All the while, still keeping an eye on the forecast.

If you’ve ever driven through Wyoming, you know that there are places where there are miles, and miles, and miles…and more miles between towns. We all filled up and we were back on the road again, Mom still behind the wheel. The day was starting to come to a close, the sun was beginning to set and the temperatures were falling.  The driving had been good all day, no rain and no snow…YES!! Just as the sun was almost gone, a few snowflakes started to fall, we kept driving and thankfully it stopped.

A week or so before the kids left Lincoln, Alex was driving to work and her car spun out on the interstate, it is a miracle that she was not hit and that she did not hit anyone. It is only fair that she is still a bit “gun shy” about slick roads. I have had my fair share of slick road incidents over the years and I avoid driving in snow or ice at all costs. I really can’t say that I know anyone who enjoys that type of driving, but some handle it better than others. You can be the most careful driver in the world, but you are not the only one on the road…they are the ones you should be worried about!

As we continue, as it goes in Wyoming, the roads are up and down and winding around and back, the snow comes again, road conditions begin to worsen, instead of being able to see all of the road, we see “tracks” and rightfully so, my Alex begins to get a bit anxious, as am I, but I can’t let on to her, she needs to remain calm so that I can. I am still behind the wheel so I reach over, pat her leg, tell her that we are still doing good and all will ok. I’m not sure who I’m trying to convince, her or me. I should also mention that at this point we are in an area where there was no cell reception.

We are somewhere between Green River and Evanston, our speeds have slowed to anywhere from 19 to 25 miles per hour, the tracks that I mentioned earlier have all but disappeared, the only way we knew that we knew we were still on the road was the semi in front of us, Andrew was several miles ahead of us, but we didn’t know where and with no cell service, there was no way of finding out. Thank God Mark was right behind us. I knew that if I could stay behind this semi and Mark could stay behind me, we would be fine.  The night was so dark, the snow was continuing to fall, and some of the other drivers didn’t know that there was a blizzard going on…flying by us like we were standing still, only making the anxiety levels rise.

We had watched the forecast all day and did not see this any where on the radar, and yet, here it was…a storm, that we were not prepared for! Isn’t that how it usually is?? About then, the semi that I was following, pulls off the road a bit…Oh. My. God! What do I do? Should I keep going? Should I pull over too? What do I do?! I decide to keep going… there is no one guiding me, I am guiding us…this was a definite “Jesus take the wheel” moment if ever there was one!! Alex says that she thinks I am heading towards the edge of the road (if I go to the edge of the road, there is nothing on the other side of us, it drops off) and I tell her that I think we are fine…No mom, we aren’t fine! Stop the car!…I can’t just stop the car in the middle of the road…YOU’RE NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD MOM, STOP THE CAR!!! I noticed a road sign to the right of us, I proceeded to stop next to the sign. Mark pulls in behind me, Alex got out of the car,  ran through the drifts to Mark to ask what to do. If I had my way, we would have stayed right there until morning, but I knew that was not going to be an option.

Alex came back. We noticed that the semi we had been following was coming up behind us…Mark said to pull out and get back behind him and just follow him…Thank You Jesus! I get in right behind him and Mark gets in behind me. Whew!! I think we are going to be fine, as long as I don’t lose this semi, and dear God, please don’t let Mark lose me!

Oh No!!! My wipers are starting to ice over, my visibility is compromised, and that is putting it mildly! Alex notices that my breathing has changed and I am beginning to panic. She firmly tells me that I am not allowed to “do this” yet..she knows me very well and she knew I was starting to lose it! I turn to her and tell her  about the wipers and that I can’t see. She looks at me and very calmly says: “I can. You control the gas and the break pedals and I will steer the car.” WHAT?!?!

We are 13 miles from Evanston…13 miles, in weather conditions like that, 13 miles could be an hour, or more!! With the defrost blowing at full blast, wet snow coming down on us, no clue where Andrew is, and other drivers oblivious to our anxiety, I am behind the wheel, with only 50% control…Alex has the other 50%. I keep asking her if she is sure she can see (she is “bobbing” up and down) and she assures me that she can (Jesus take the wheel).

Alex is telling me when to slow down, if I need to speed up in order to not lose our “guide” (the semi), and oh yeah, let me know if some one is going to pass us!! This is not a good idea, but what choice do we have?! The time finally comes when I see the Evanston exit, I was never so relieved in my life, except when we pull into the first gas station we see and I see Andrew’s  car!!! THANK YOU JESUS!! The only thing that would have made me happier at that moment was if that semi would have exited with us so that I could have given him a hug and thanked him, but he didn’t, he continued. I will always be grateful to him, I truly believe that if it were not for him, Alex and I probably would not be here.

So it was Evanston where we stayed, not Idaho.  We found a hotel, we were safe, we were warm and we were together. Nothing else mattered for that night. We had decided that we would not leave until daylight had come, that and we had gone to Walmart to get new wiper blades!

Storms, literal or figurative, are a fact of life, and most of them, just like this one, come when you least expect them! These are given to us in order to learn something, sometimes they change us, hopefully for the good, but I know unfortunately, that is not always the case. Alex and I were meant to go through that storm together. It was only together that we made it through, I could not have made it through with out her, and I think she needed me too, we needed each other to weather the storm. We all need someone who is willing to go through storms with us don’t we, and for them we should be grateful!

As for the literal storm that we drove through on March 4, 2018, if we never have to do that again, that would be too soon. Early the next morning, Mark woke me up to ask me why I was crying…what is wrong …I was crying in my sleep, and all I could say to him was: “I couldn’t see!” I’m not too proud to say that this has happened even since we’ve been back home. It will take a while to get over this one…but I know that I have someone to help me overcome.

”For God has not given us a SPIRIT OF FEAR, but of POWER and of LOVE and of a SOUND MIND.” ~2 Timothy 1:7