Playing Dress up For Real- Your Wedding Day

Today is the day…you are getting married. Your love story is a unique one, as most of them are. In my heart I know that it was started by God from the day you were conceived and is culminating today when you change your last name. But for me, it began when you started planning for your summer in South Korea three years ago. I told your dad that I just knew you were going to find a man over there, fall in love, get married and stay there. I was being selfish and I started praying for you to find someone special before you left, so you had a “reason” to come back. Then, along came Jesse….

Before I had even met Jesse, I knew he was “the one” just from the way you talked about him. You were smitten. Once I met him, it was obvious he was too. Watching your relationship grow from afar was something so exciting and almost rare with couple your age. The way that you guys showed love and respect for each other is something that I hope will never change between the two of you. I wholeheartedly believe the way you guys met was guided by God’s hands and it was absolutely meant to be.

Every parent wants someone who will care for their daughter in the ways of making her smile, making her laugh…a LOT, supporting her dreams, making her feel safe, and showing her respect. We have seen all of those ways and more from Jesse. We have also seen you give those things back to him ten fold. This makes it “easier” to “give you away” when it is to someone who loves you with the same heart as we do, but in a different way that only husbands and wives share.

Soon you will get your hair done, you will do your make-up, and you will put your beautiful dress on and you will walk down the path to your life as a married woman, but in my minds eye, you will always be the little girl with the blue lipstick playing dress up.

Even though you chose to elope and we won’t be there in person, know that we are there with you in Spirit and we are there with you in your hearts and in ours. You asked me the other night when we were on the phone if I had any words of wisdom. I couldn’t think of any at the time, but now I will say to both of you: Always remember why you fell in love. During tough times, go to your memories, remember things that drew you to one another. Never stop surprising each other, and never take each other for granted. Just because you got married, doesn’t mean you should stop dating!!

Today is the day…your wedding day. It is meant to be the best day of your lives. Two become one but the love is multiplied.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” ~1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Focus on Your Cake

I think most people like a good piece of cake, I know I do!! Birthday cake, wedding cake, cheesecake!! It’s all good right?

Recently someone told me they didn’t want my heart to get distracted with things I can’t control. She said that I need to give these things to Jesus and let Him control the outcome. She reminded me that that is always better than what we think will happen anyway. She must not understand how hard that is!! (Honestly, I know that she does!). I can’t speak for anyone else, but I would venture a guess that this is something we ALL need help doing from time to time.

To be quite honest, when I got the above mentioned reminder, I was a little upset about it. That being said, I am the type of person who likes to take a few days and reflect about things that happened or things that were said. I wish I could say that I was always like that, but that is just simply not true. Anyway- I thought about what my friend had said and I really wanted to be able to take her advice, but I guess the timing was just not quite right. BUT…the ebb and flow of life has a way of changing things. And for that we can be thankful.

A guilty pleasure of mine is Tik Tok….I know I know, don’t judge me 🙂 Anyway- a while back I was scrolling and there was a gal who was talking about her cake. She uses “Cake” as a metaphor for life. Her cake is her home and the people in her home, her husband and her kids. Friends, extended family, coworkers etc. are the icing on the cake. It is important to have a yummy delicious cake before you can add the icing. Interesting right?!

A few days ago something happened that made me think back to the advice I had mentioned earlier and it also made me think about this gal and her cake. It was at that moment that I knew that my friend was right. I did need to give the things I can’t control to Jesus and let Him handle it. I just need to focus on my cake. No matter how much we would like to, we CANNOT control what others do or the choices they make.

There will be many times in life when we will need reminded that we have things in our lives that we can’t control, but for now, I am focusing on my cake, and it is pretty darn good. I am also consider myself very fortunate that I not only have a wonderful cake, but I have some amazing icing!! How is your cake?

Go Ahead…Make that Mistake!

Have you ever been scrolling through your social media and you see a quote, meme, picture etc. that immediately makes you think of a certain someone? Sometimes it brings a smile to your face, sometimes it can bring a tear to your eye, and sometimes it can just plain make you irritated, and you think to yourself, “Oh! So and so needs to see this!!” I know I can’t be the only one.

I saw this particular one a few weeks ago and I had that very reaction…just plain irritated! It took me back to a place in time that wasn’t particularly enjoyable for anyone that was involved and therefore a lot of big emotions are attached with those memories. BUT…it did make me think about how absolutely accurate this statement is: “A mistake that makes you humble is better than an accomplishment that makes you arrogant.”

Mistakes are just a part of life, plain and simple. We ALL make them, no one is immune from making mistakes. They do serve a purpose believe it or not. They are designed to teach us something, make us better, or maybe even see someone else’s point of view…BUT only if we allow them to. WHAT?! Here’s an even bigger shocker. Sometimes they can even show us that we need help. I’m not talking about help around the house, or help with homework or any of those types of things, I am talking about BIG help, like the help that comes with getting and STAYING sober.

I do not claim to be an expert about alcoholism, I am sure that I know very little about it. I know and acknowledge that it is a disease and it is heavily linked with mental illness, which I also do not claim to be an expert on. The one thing that I know with 100% certainty is this: A person CANNOT get OR STAY sober “alone” or “on my own” even if they think they can, even if they think they are invincible.

Over the course of the last few years, I have witnessed someone battle the bottle and every time, the bottle won. Start off strong, 1…2…3…4…months, then relapse. During the time when sobriety seemed to be happening, the question would be asked, “How are you doing with your sobriety?” The answer (more than once) was always, “Really good. This is the first time I’ve been sober for this long by myself.” Or, “on my own”. This was repeated several times in a short two and a half year period. At one point, a full year of sobriety was reached. Twelve. Whole. Months. Can you guess what happened? If you said a relapse, you would be correct. Do you know what I also noticed during the times when sobriety was happening? Arrogance. Whenever “on my own” or “by myself” was said, it was said with some kind of attitude that was telling those that were listening that “I don’t need/want you” and I always had the same thought, “But you DO need help!! That’s why you continue to relapse…Don’t you get it?!” There was literally a whole TEAM of people that repeatedly tired to help you, gave you the resources to use, and we were just dismissed with the arrogance of “on my own”.

The other thing about sobriety (and life in general) that I know with 100% certainty is that it is all about choices. We all have them. Sometimes we make good ones, and sometimes we don’t. When we don’t, that is usually when the mistakes come. They aren’t fun and no one likes them, but we CAN use them and we CAN overcome them…IF WE WANT TO!! Own your mistakes (humble yourself), apologize if you need to (humble yourself), ask for help (humble yourself) and use our mistakes to make better choices. We can be proud of our accomplishments, but we can’t forget the mistakes that it took to get there and ultimately we have to remember that it takes a lot of hard work, that ONLY we can do…no one can do it for us. They can support and encourage and HELP us along the way, but the work is ours.

“Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.” ~Unknown