“Trans”parent

On the first Wednesday of each month, our church has a carry in pot luck lunch for retired people, or people 55 or older, it’s called the Retired Persons Lunch Bunch.  Now, even though I am not 55 or retired, because I am the church secretary, I am invited to lunch…just one of the “perks” of the job!  This month, we were given a piece of paper and told to write our name, date of birth, and something that no one else knows about us.  The first two are pretty easy, obviously, but something that no one else knows about me, that’s a tough one.

I have always thought of myself as a pretty open book, at least since I have been an adult. But this activity really got me thinking about “stuff”.  In my last post, I shared about our son, who is transgender.  I shared the post from this website to my Facebook page, and shortly after that I received a text message from a friend. I was so relieved to get this text, because there were a few people who I felt like they might be hurt if they didn’t hear it from me personally, and this friend was one of them.  Quite the contrary…she expressed her love for us, ALL of us, and support and her happiness that Andrew was happy as well, FINALLY! I texted her back and told her how happy I was that she finally “knew” and that I had wanted to tell her, but life gets in the way and it just didn’t work out that way.  Her response was this: “No worries, I know how the rumor mill in this town works so I didn’t form an opinion either way until I knew for sure. Now I do, and nothing has changed, we still love you and your family.”  Pretty cool right?!

I have thought about that statement a lot since then. It was pretty obvious from her comment that there had been, and I’m sure still are rumors going around about us, mainly my son.  I get it, rumors and gossip, it’s a way of life, for some it’s like a drug, they get a high from it, from hearing to spreading, all the while, not really caring whether or not it is even true, and certainly not trying to find out!

That brings me back to that activity, writing down something no one else knows about me.  There were several around that table that, I don’t think, know that I have a transgender son, but there were also several who do.  Either way, I don’t think that would have been an appropriate way of “coming out”.  However, if someone sitting around that table has heard “the rumors”, if they asked me, I would gladly answer, “Yes”.  There is a tricky balance in the fact that, you don’t have anything to hide, so to speak, but at the same time, you are a parent and you still need to protect your child.  It is hard to understand, and even harder to explain to an “outsider”, for lack of a better word, and even more so when their mind and heart is not open.

In every situation, there is always good to be found.  The good that I am hoping for in this situation is this: If you have a question, just ask me, seriously, especially where my children are concerned.  It takes an awful lot to offend me, and quite honestly, I will have a great deal of respect for you because you asked!!  That’s what being transparent means, being unmistakable, plain, clear…HONEST.  After all, I am a “trans” parent…so I had better live up to it!

My “Modern Family”

Who knows us better than God and ourselves?  I mean REALLY knows us…probably no one, not even our parents, spouses, siblings or best friends.  Most of us, I’m sure, keep certain things to ourselves, whether it be out of shame, fear of rejection, or even fear of judgment from the ones closest to us.  It is a sad reality, but sometimes the ones that we think we could go to with anything, are the ones that judge us the harshest, and vice versa…the ones who we anticipate judgement from are the ones who turn out to be our biggest support.

My family, just like most, have had our times of trial, but we’ve also see great times.  We’ve been up and we’ve been down…but we’ve done it together and we’ve supported each other through it all.  Isn’t that what family does??  Unfortunately, in today’s society, the answer is not always “Yes”.

If you look up the definition of the word family in the dictionary, there are several definitions.  Eight to be exact, ranging from a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head, to a unit of a crime syndicate (as the Mafia) operating within a geographical area along with some math and science definitions thrown in as well.  There is a tv show that my hubby and I recently started watching called “Modern Family” that consists of a family patriarch who is married to his second wife (an immigrant from Columbia who has a son from a previous marriage), his children, a daughter who is married to a man and they have 3 kids together, and his son who is gay, married to his domestic partner and they adopted a daughter from Vietnam.  They are all supportive of one another and they show nothing but love for each other…now THAT’S a family!!

There are, I’m sure, many real life scenarios in which many of today’s families would look very similar to what is protrayed on that tv show.  I know it’s been said before, but I think it bears repeating…just because not all families “look” the same, does that mean they don’t love the same as the rest of us??  I mean, they are, after all, humans.  With the same emotions as the rest of us, the same hearts and feelings as the rest of us.  Even if we don’t understand their lifestyle, that does not make it wrong!  Yes, I know in the bible it states that a man and a woman enter into marriage as one…but doesn’t it also say that God gave us a new commandment “Love one another as I have loved you”.  I don’t remember there being any stipulations on that…  We are all children of God, and we deserve to be loved.

The pastor at our church recently did a sermon titled “I Once Was Blind, But now I See” and that one really hit home for me and I’d like to tell you why.  There has been a lot of talk in the news recently about Transgender issues, mainly bathroom use.  I will be the first to admit than when this debate first started, I didn’t think about it too much, but in my mind, at the time, I had said that I felt like whatever “plumbing” the person had, that is the bathroom they should use…I could not have been more wrong!!!

Let’s back up for just a minute…Our oldest daughter was born in November of 1992.  All 8 pounds 8 ounces of her was beautiful.  We were VERY young parents and we struggled, but we did the best we could to do right by our girl.  As she got older, we noticed that her taste in clothing and toys was not typical for a girl, but didn’t think too much of it.  I was raised on a farm and I was a bit of a “tomboy” myself so we thought she was too.  When she was able to talk, if someone would tell her she was a cute little girl, she would get mad and tell them that “she was not a girl…she was a kid!!”  Again, didn’t put too much stock in it.  As she got even older, she became a very sad person, her middle school years were tough.  We did what any parents would do and sought counseling, she went on her own and we went as a family, all of us, even her little sister.  Things would be ok for a while, and then BANG…it was back! Anger, depression, rage, anxiety…the whole nine yards.  High shcool came and went kind of the same as middle shcool.

Her first attempt at college didn’t go so well, but she was still determinded to go back and get her RN.  So, in the fall of 2015, she and her little sister moved away from the small town life and started their own journeys.  It was amazing to see the 2 of them all grown up and leaving the nest.  Mark and I found peace knowing that they would still be together and take care of each other.  They still live together today and even though it’s not all rainbows and butterflies, it’s a good arrangement.

Fast forward to fall of 2016.  I recieved a text from Anna, our oldest, that simply said, “just wanted to let you know that I sent you and dad a letter.”  Now, in our family, that means that we have big, important news that we can’t physically tell because it will be emotional…so we write it down.  Mark and I thought we had a pretty good idea what it was about, but we said that we would wait for the letter and go from there.  She was never a feminine girl, as I stated before, she always had preferred t-shirt and jeans over frilly girl clothes and never really wore make-up, but her hair was always the center of her appearance…it always looked “on point”.

 

Anna (on the bottom), even at a young age, didn’t really “look” like a girl.

Anna at one of her best friends weddings in 2015.  She always cleaned up good!

 

The letter came, and while the news was shocking, it was not completely unexptected.  She had written to tell us that she was transgender.  Even though we had a feeling of what the news was, we were still “shocked” for lack of a better word…we actually had thought that she was going to tell us that she was a lesbian.  Many tears were shed and our minds raced with questions.  We took some time over the next few days to process this new information and then we asked if we could come to Lincoln and talk to her face to face, to which she agreed.

Almost as with any sort of “big” news, Mark and I were almost the last to know.  Of course, Alex (her sister) knew, Anna’s co-workers knew, people from shcool knew, and some of her close friends knew.  Mark and I wanted to make sure that she was 100 % sure the this was indeed what it seemed, becuase this is literally a life changing change.  After talking with her, listening, crying, and talking some more, we knew that her mind was clear, and this was in fact the right thing.  Since her freshman year in high school is when she said that she knew with out a doubt that this was not a phase, or something that was going to pass.  How do you tell the ones you love this news?  What will their reactions be? Will they still love me?  Will they still accept me?  What if…?

I am positive that it was even as a young child when the feelings of something not being quite right began for her and I realized how lonely and scared she must have felt all those years, keeping such a secret all to herself and at such a young age, it’s no wonder she was so angry all the time.  How could we expect her to be happy with others when she wasn’t happy with herself?  Once I came to that realization, my heart broke, the tears really flowed and my prayers for her changed.

Back to the sermon that I mentioned earlier, “I Was Blind, But now I See”,  before the issue of transgenders affected my personally, before I started to educate myself, I was blind…but now I see.  I see now, why there was such a struggle with self esteem, anger, depression, all of it!!  I was blind…but now I see.  It’s clear and it’s wonderful!

All any parent wants is for their kids to be happy, and as I sit her and write this, I can honestly say that my son is finally happy after 24 years on earth and it is the best gift that a mother and father can get is to see the look of contentment and peace on their child’s face, especailly knowing they have been searching for it their whole life.  There are still many things I don’t understand, and I don’t pretend to be an expert on transgender issues, but that is ok, I will continue to learn and educate myself.  One thing I do know, and that I want you all to know is that I am beyond proud of him.  Coming out with this news was the hardest and scariest thing he has ever done, without at doubt.  Telling the ones you love this kind of news takes incredible strength.  Strength to overcome the fear of rejection, the fear of judgment, and the fear of possibly losing the ones closest to you.  For him to do this took strength that I’m not sure I would have, would you?

My son’s name is Andrew, a name that he chose for himself.  Mark and I asked if we could choose his middle name, to which he agreed, and we chose Jacob, because it means “protected by God”.  The name change has been made legal, but for us, we still slip up sometimes, it’s hard after 24 years!  There are a lot of things that are still hard, but we will get there, it will just take time.

This is my son, Andrew Jacob Boson

Alex and her brother…

Everyone has an opinion, and we are all entitled to our own, and that is fine.  I am not trying and will not try to change anyone’s opinion, but what I will do is respect it and in return, I ask you to do the same for me.  People can have differing opinions and still be friends and love each other!!  Another thing that I have learned recently, is before you voice your opinion, make sure that you are informed about the issue that you are talking about.  That applies to ALL situations, not just this one!!  Your first opinion doesn’t have to be your final opinion…

 

I read a quote once that has really stuck with me these last few years and it says “You were given THIS life becuase you were strong enough to live it.”  I believe it.  We may not have been strong enough in the beginning, but I have NO DOUBT that we are now!

THIS is my definition of family…

 

Lemons Are Good

If someone tells you that their life is perfect…they are lying!  Some people can do a really good job of making it appear as though everything in their world is “perfect”, but in reality, they are sometimes the ones who are literally falling apart at the seams.  Everyone, at some point in their lives will have times when it seems as nothing is going right, whether it be in a relationship, with their kids, in a marriage, a job…whatever, it is a fact of life that there are going to be bad days…and that is ok!  Alex said something once, and it was so true, “You may have had a bad day, but that doesn’t mean you have a bad life”.  That piece of advice sounded like it came from the mouth of someone who has been on this planet a lot longer than 20 years!!

Life is not fair, people are not fair, sometimes the people in your life are not fair, and that in itself is not fair!  But remember when you were a kid??…Momma told me there’d be days like this.  I like to try to remember that when I am having a rough time in my life, that there is a reason for it.  That maybe I am meant to learn something and I always know that things could always be worse, and that for some people, they are.

When life gives you lemons…you know the old saying, Make lemonade, right??   I like this quote a lot better…”When life gives you lemons, make lemonade and sell it to all of those who get thirsty from complaining.”  Depending on how you look at things…lemons can be a good thing, and in most cases, they probably are!  Lemonade can be sweet or it can be sour, it’s all in how you make it.

Don’t Be Ugly

 This picture pretty much sums up how I have been feeling lately!  I’m tired…I like this movie (The Green Mile), mainly because Tom Hanks is in it, but I wouldn’t say that it is one of my favorites.  This movie does, however, have a very good message to it.  If you haven’t seen it, I would recommend watching it, and I mean REALLY watching it.

I am sure that you have all seen on the news about the 2 little boys, best friends, one white and one black, who got the same hair cut in order to “trick” their teacher into not being able to tell them apart.  How CUTE is that?!?!  They are oblivious to the fact that they are different in a most obvious way, and that is the most beautiful thing to see.  If we could all have the innocence of children throughout our whole lives, the world would be a much nicer place.

There are many lessons that we can learn from these 2 little best friends.  We are all of one race…the Human Race!  I think the best thing that we can learn is this: We are not born with hate in our hearts, that is learned/taught.  We are put on this earth to LOVE each other, as Jesus loved us. We are one in the Spirit, we are one in the Lord
And we pray that our unity will one day be restored
And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love.

The lyrics from Tim McGraw’s “Humble and Kind” are always a great reminder for me: “Hold the door say please say thank you
Don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie  Don’t expect a free ride from no one
Don’t hold a grudge or a chip and here’s why
Bitterness keeps you from flying
Always stay humble and kind”

I always told my kids when they were in school that even though they looked nice on the outside, if they didn’t treat others the way they wanted to be treated, that made them ugly.  You never know the impact that a kind word or gesture will make in someones day!  Let’s not be ugly, there is enough of that going around already.

 

 

Time for a Change

So…The Golden Globes.  I am not a big watcher of awards shows, the only awards show that I don’t mind watching is the CMA’s and that is really if there isn’t anything else on.  Anyway- I didn’t watch the Golden Globes, but of course I heard about Meryl Streep and her 6 minute acceptance speech! *insert eye roll here*  Now, I am aware that she has won numerous awards and has been an actress forever, and I do like some of her movies, but I can’t say that I am a Meryl fan.  I have a couple of friends that will go and see a movie just because she is in it, which is fine, but I don’t like her that much.  Tom Hanks on the other hand…that’s a different story!!

Here’s my beef about her “acceptance” speech.  About 3 minutes in, she starts talking about Hollywood crawling with “foreigners” and if we kicked them all out…  My question is this: Are you all here legally?  I bet you are, so THERE IS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT!!!  This goes for any one who is here in the United States, famous or not.  If they have gained access to this country by legal means, then they are not in danger of being deported…period! End of story, and I am not sure why there are some who cannot seem to understand this.

About 5 minutes in to her speech, she starts talking about the press and how they need to hold people in power accountable and “call them on the carpet”, to which I will 100% agree, BUT, we also need the press to be unbiased in their reporting!  Not just during an election year, but all the time, everyday!  How are “we the people” to make an informed decision with out accurate information?  You can say “do your research” and don’t rely on the news, but I feel that the news is a very big part of information gathering, but it’s definitely isn’t the only source.

This is an awards show, accept your award, say thank you and get on with the show.  I felt like it was inappropriate of her to use that format for her political statements and I don’t feel that she “thanked” anyone for being given the award!  BUT…that is just my opinion, and I am thankful that we live in a country where I can express that such opinion.

Since Donald Trump won the election, for which I am glad, I have been praying.  My prayers and hopes for the next 4 years are this: I pray that we can come together as a country, as One Nation Under God, agree to disagree if that is what needs to be done, and do it respectfully with one another.  I pray that Mr. Trump will be a good president and that every one will be impressed with the things he accomplishes, and I pray that he will “Make America Great Again”.  When I went to the polls and cast my ballot, I wasn’t voting FOR Donald Trump, and I wasn’t voting AGAINST Hilary Clinton.  I was voting for the Supreme Court, for our Service Men and Women, for our Veterans, for the middle class…I was voting for a CHANGE.  I feel like that is why Trump won, is because so many people in this country were tired of the direction we were headed, tired of working 40+ hours a week and not having anything to show for it…it was time for a change.

Is Donald perfect? No, absolutely not.  Is Hilary perfect?  No, certainly not.  Am I perfect?  Nope.  Are you perfect?  Probably not.  No one is, but my goal for 2017 is to Love more, Respect more, Accept More, and Love more.  Oh!  I said Love twice…Yup, because who doesn’t need more Love?  Will you join me?

See You Later

It’s been 3 weeks today that we had to put our “Old Lady” down, and my heart still aches and the tears still come easily.  In my last post, I wrote about her condition and what happens.  I mentioned that it is a progressive disease but we were nowhere prepared for how fast it was going to progress, it was an unwelcome surprise to my family.  She was with us another 6 days after that post, and in those 6 days, my heart broke more and more each day, knowing that time with her was drawing to an end.

Animals, especially dogs, have a sense when their humans don’t feel good, or they are upset, or sad and that was sure true in this case.  I would get down on the floor with her and talk to her and love her, and she would just look at me with so much love in her eyes, almost as if to say, “I know why you’re so sad, but I’ll be ok.”  At 14 years old, she had seen all of us at our absolute worst and our absolute best and everything in between, and I have to say, she knew her humans well.

 

My husband, bless his heart, wanted so badly to let us have one more Christmas with her, especially since our kids don’t live at home anymore and they were to be home over that weekend, and he tried everything to make that happen so that they could at least see her one more time in person, but it wasn’t meant to be.  Through many many tears, and the wonder of technology, we FaceTimed with the kids so they had a change to see her and she could hear their voices.  It’s not the same as being there in person, but it is certainly better than nothing.  That last weekend with her was emotionally exhausting, I couldn’t even look at her without bursting into tears, it was awful.

The morning of the 19th came, and I called the vet to make the appointment.  *Heart breaks into a million pieces*  We decided to take a page from the other gal that I read about and take our gal for something a little special.  We drove through McDonald’s and treated her to 2 cheeseburgers and then we drove her down Willow Road (a beautiful local scenic road lined with trees) so that she could look at the trees and nature.  We pulled into the interstate lake that is along the road, and my hubby and I got out, gave her her cheeseburgers and just sat with her, petted her, talked to her, told her what a good girl she was, and how much we all loved her. *Heart breaks into a million more pieces*

I am not going to go into the details of our time at the vet, a). because I am already crying, b). I’m sure you already know what happened at the vet, and c). and this might sound very strange, but it was a very emotional and intimate process and I feel that it should be kept that way.  I do, however, want to say how wonderful our vet office was during this whole process.  The whole staff at Eastside Animal Center is so compassionate, caring and comforting and if anything could have made this easier, it was to know that they feel empathy for what we were going through.  Wonderful people, couldn’t ask for anyone better than them!!

We had her cremated, which is a decision that I struggled with off and on before, but now I know it was the absolute right decision and one that I will never regret.  The staff and the vet clinic sent us a sympathy card and when I went back to pick up her ashes, the lady comes around the corner and hands me a “card” along with her wooden urn.  On this card, was OC’s nose print and a paw print…I was overwhelmed (and was ugly crying)  with gratitude for these people and the kindness they had shown us.  I am sure that they do this for each customer, but at that moment, I felt like we were the only ones, and it was wonderful.

So, this morning I read another blog post about a family who had to put their dog down yesterday and she wrote about her kids and husband and all of their memories about their dog, and I am just reading and crying…it’s hard to read through tears!  But in her post, she wrote something and I wanted to share what she said.  She said that she felt kind of funny for going on and on about Charlie (her dog) because after all- he’s a dog. ” There is so much human suffering and tragedy in the world that this can’t even being to compare to that…BUT!  Anyone who has ever loved a dog understands that it is a special kind of loss.”   Did I need to read that today or what?!?!  The answer is YES, I did and I am SO GLAD I did.  Does this mean that I am not sad or heartbroken anymore…absolutely not, but it does help me to know that I am not alone and I am not acting like an idiot when it’s been 3 weeks and I am still crying over “just a dog”.  Dogs are SO MUCH MORE than that…all pets are way more than “just” pets!!

December 19, 2016- one of the hardest days of our family’s  lives.  We know it was the right thing to do, but that doesn’t make the loss any easier.  What we draw comfort from is that she has been healed of her ailments and she is up there watching over us, waiting to greet us with that beautiful smile that she always had.  Oh my goodness do we miss her!!!…But, she will never be replaced, we have our memories, and we will definitely “see you later”.

Sometimes the kindest things to do are the Hardest

I recently read about a young woman who documented her dog’s last day on earth on Snapchat.  Her dog’s health was declining and she had made the heart wrenching decision to put her dog to sleep.  I know this decision is heat wrenching, because I have had to make it once before, and I am on the door step of having to make it again, it is beyond heartbreaking for not only me, but my family as well.  She is half black lab and half german shepherd.  We got her when she was only 8 weeks old and she is now 14 years old.  The fur around her face has turned gray, her eyes don’t “sparkle” like they once did, but she is still loved more than she knows and she is still smiling.  My kids grew up with her, my husband (sometimes) had to fight her for a spot in the bed (before she got to big).  She fit into our family perfectly and we would not trade our time with her for anything in the world.

After watching the video on Facebook of this lady’s efforts, I was, or course, in tears, but it started me thinking about the relationship between my dog, and us, her people.  The day that we brought her home was a surprise for all of us!  She didn’t know that she was going to come home with us and we didn’t know either.  But when we (I) first laid eyes on her, I knew we couldn’t leave without her.  Thankfully, I have a wonderful husband that agreed and away we went, and the rest, as  they say, is history.

About a year ago, we thought she was starting to exhibit signs of arthritis, so we loaded her up and took her to the vet and he gave her some medicine that was to help alleviate the discomfort that comes with arthritis and it seemed to help.  A few months ago, we started noticing that she was struggling to get from laying down to standing up along with some other symptoms that didn’t match up with arthritis.  We started watching her movements closer and soon realized that there was definitely something more going on.  My husband took to the interweb and started researching her symptoms and what we discovered was devastating.  I decided that I would consult with our vet and also and friend of mine that is a vet and see if, in fact, what we found could be her problem.  They both concurred.  She has what is called  canine degenerative myelopathy.  There is no cure and it is not reversible.  It is  progressive disease of the canine spinal cord that is similar in many ways to amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease. Onset is typically after the age of 7 years and it is seen most frequently in dogs with “long backs”.  Progressive weakness and in coordination of the rear limbs are often the first signs seen in affected dogs, with progression over time to complete paralysis.

As you can see, this diagnosis was heartbreaking for all of us, and of course OC (our dog) doesn’t understand why her legs don’t work like they used to, but like I said, she is still smiling.  Since this is a progressive disease, it has begun to affect the way that her tail wags, she has the lack of coordination in her back legs (she has fallen several times) and eventually it will affect her breathing and she will also lose control of her bladder and bowels.  Just like in humans, she has good days and she has bad days and  her bad days have become my bad days.

Many conversations have already been had about “when the time comes” and they all suck.  But something I read shortly after seeing the Snapchat about the dog’s last day, has stuck with me. “Sometimes the kindest thing to do is also the hardest.”  Our “old lady”, as we lovingly refer to her as, trusts us to make the right decisions for her, to be there for her now, just like she has been there for us her whole life.  I asked my vet friend, Jim, “How will we know when it’s time?” Now, let me just tell you really quick, this is the same vet and friend that was with me the first time I was involved in the same decision, so he knows quite well how attached I am.  The words that he spoke to me have played over in my mind 100 times if not more.  He looked at me and smiled and said, “You’ll know, and you will want her to go while she still has her dignity.”  Truer words have never been spoken in this case and I will forever be grateful to him for saying them.

This picture was taken 2 years ago, and this is how she ALWAYS lays.  When Jim said what he did and used the word “dignity”, I nearly lost it, because she is just that, dignified.

We will cherish the time that we have left with her, and we know that it probably won’t be much, but we’ll take it.  We will miss her terribly when she’s gone, but we know that she will always be a part of us, she was our dog, and we were her people.  Our house is not a home with out a dog, so after a while, I’m sure we will get another one, but I promise you this, there will only ever be 1 “Old Lady”   

 

 

Keep Adding to Your List

Graceland…I have heard that it is a beautiful place and it is someplace I have wanted to see for many years.  I am a big Elvis fan and I don’t really know how I became one, seeing as I had just turned 1 when he died.  I don’t remember my parents playing his music while I was growing up either, but, at any rate, I LOVE his music and in my opinion, NO ONE can sing like he did, especially Gospel music!!  Gives me the chills every time.

All summer my husband has been after me, “let’s go on a trip.”  We’d pick a time, but then something would come up and it never worked out to go, so finally we decided that after our Annual meeting at church, we’d MAKE the time to go.  Well, tonight is the meeting and we are leaving right afterwards, Mark says that is to keep me from changing my mind (which I won’t especially after the day I have had!).  As I am sure you can guess from how this started, we are going to Memphis…Graceland!  I am beyond excited and almost can’t believe that I am actually going to get to see this legendary place.

How many of you have “Bucket List’s”?  I am not sure I do or not, I really don’t know what the requirements are.  Sure I have places that I want to go see and things I want to do, but at the same time, if I don’t get to, I’ll be ok too.  I guess maybe mine is more of a “priority” thing.  I have certain things that are more important to me than others.  For instance, I want to see the Grand Canyon, but I also want to go back east to the Washington D.C area too.  Between the 2 places, I would rather head east.  If I do get to go both places, I will just consider myself blessed to have done so.

My daughter keeps talking about her “Bucket List”, and while I think that it is wonderful that she has one (she’s barely 20), it’s almost as if she thinks that something terrible will happen if she doesn’t complete this list.  At the same time, she probably thinks that the something terrible will be regrets.  I get that, she doesn’t want to look back on her time and say, “I wish I would have” or “I should have”, she wants to look back and say “I accomplished”.  How neat is that?!?!?  I do have to chuckle at her though, some times when she talks about it, she’ll say “well I am already 20”, like she’s SO old!

We don’t know when our time is done, I get that, but at the same time, it is nice to take things slow and enjoy what is here and now.  Time goes so fast anymore.  So, for the next 5 days, (starting tonight) I am going to slow down and enjoy the here and now.  I am going to enjoy spending time away from the hustle and bustle of the everyday and catch my breath.  I’m almost certain that when we get to Graceland, I am going to be breathless!!

Keep adding to your “Bucket List” if you have one, you never know when an opportunity might present itself and what a feeling it is to say “I accomplished”!

GRACELAND…HERE WE COME!!!

Happiness is contagious…try it!!

I, for one, am going to be SO glad when this election is OVER!!!  I don’t claim to be an expert on politics by any stretch of the imagination, but I do know the difference between right and wrong, and I think that it is safe to say that we have all done somethings wrong in our lives, right?  Let him who is without sin cast the first stone…you see the splinter in another’s eye, but fail to see the beam in your own…an it goes on and on!!  Bottom line is, not one of us is perfect, so let’s just be mature adults and agree to disagree, do it respectfully, and MOVE ON!!  Sorry, got on a bit of a rant there 😉

Anywho–it’s getting to be that time of year again when we tend to focus on what we have to be thankful for.  Now, I realize that Thanksgiving isn’t for another 6 weeks, but let me tell you a little secret…we can be thankful for stuff all year long!  It’s AWESOME.  I have always been one who has tried to be grateful in all situations, but I will also be the first one to tell you that sometimes are harder than others to achieve this goal, but since Mark was hurt a couple of years ago, I find this to be a very important coping skill.  I am thankful for the doctor’s, nurses, and physical therapists that have taken care of my husband for the last 2 years.  They really are the best that we could have hoped for, they started out as simply that…doctor’s, nurses, and physical therapists, but know they are our friends.  They have become a part of our lives, how can they not after such a long time!!  I will forever be thankful for them.  Each one of them that we have encountered has had a positive attitude and kinds words to say.  Can you imagine how treatments and appointments would go if they were “Debbie Downers”?  Not good…

Several years ago, a tornado came through our area and hit my parents place, the place where I grew up.  My kids were there spending the night and at this time my hubby and I lived 35 miles away.  The damage left in the wake of the storm was devastating!!  The barn blew away (literally, we only found one piece of wood from the structure), grain bins buckled under the pressure, windows were broken, trees were damaged, and one building just fell down where it stood.  Of course, we weren’t the only place that was hit and that had damage, but in all of that devastation, no one died, no one was even hurt!  Big bad, but and ever BIGGER good!!  Sometimes the good in bad situations is easy to find, like this one, sometimes we have to look harder to find it, but if you really want to find it, it’ll be there…promise!!

Positivity and happiness are actually beneficial to your health!

1. Happiness protects your heart and lowers blood pressure.
2. Strengthens your immune system.  (it’s no coincidence that angry people are always sick 🙂
3. Helps combat stress.
4. Happy people have fewer aches and pains.
5. Helps combat disease and disability.
6. Helps us live longer.

I don’t know about you, but those look pretty good to me and being that I just turned 40 this year, I would much rather have smile lines than frown lines, and I’m all for living longer!  With everything going on in our world today, let’s just be happy!!

CHALLENGE: Be so happy that when other look at you, they become happy too!!

 

 

 

 

You Can’t Help Getting Older, But You Don’t Have To Get Old

The time is drawing near, 3 weeks from yesterday will be my 40th birthday!  I have not really worried much about this particular birthday until about 3 or 4 months ago.  All of the sudden, one day, out of the blue….BANG!!  It hits me and I was crying all over myself, good grief!

What is it about these “milestone” birthdays that get people all wound up?  I think part of my trouble started when the reality of my youngest daughter turning 20 this year hit!  When did that happen that she grew up and turned 20?!?!  We are so busy when the kids are little and in school, with all of their activities, the years just sneak by us so quickly, and then all of the sudden…BANG!!!  They all come tumbling down like a ton of bricks.

Something else that I have realized recently is that I am an old 39 (soon to be 40) year old.  I had both of my children at a young age, so it would only make sense that all the other people my age, don’t really seem like they are my age, at least to me.  Are you as confused as I am yet??  For instance, the pastor of our church is going to be 40 in December, his kids are still in elementary and junior high school.  All or most of my classmates from high school are the same, and there are a select few of them that their kids haven’t even started school yet!!!  I am over here with a 23 and 20 year old….

Perhaps I don’t know how to act, after all, I’ve never been this age!!  Like I said, I am and “old” 39 (almost 40) year old, but on the other hand I am also a “young” almost 40 year old, all of the other parents that have kids the same age as mine, are closer to 50.  Maybe age IS just a number?!?!

With the countdown on until 40, I think I will take the words of Mark Twain to heart, it doesn’t matter your age, as long as you are happy, and you have people in your life that love you.  After all, if Orange is the New Black, then why can’t 40 be the New 20!?!?!?