Where Does this Road Lead?

  We all have bumps in the road right?  It’s all part of the journey of life and some might even call it a growing process.  I found this quote today and thought it was very applicable to somethings that have been going on in my family as of late.

No deaths, or serious illnesses, no broken bones, but there is my husband’s injuries that we are still dealing with, and will be for some time.  He has not yet been cleared for his final shoulder surgery…YET, but hopefully that will happen at the end of May and he can begin (again) the healing process.  This has definitely been a stumble in our road, but hey, at least we are still on the road!

Recently, there has been some turmoil at our church.  There have been some changes made that not everyone is happy about.  I get it, change is hard, and I can honestly say that I, myself, am not a big fan of change, but sometimes it is necessary to keep up with the times.  We won’t know if it is good or bad until we give it a try, if it’s good…GREAT, if not…that’s ok, we can try something else.  I think the most important thing to remember in dealing with change, it that in order to make it possible, we must enter into it with an open mind.

Remember that I work at the church, but I also attend the church and this is the church that I grew up in as well.  Sunday School, Vacation Bible School, Confirmation (twice, once with my daughter Alex), and I was married at this church.  Saying that this place is very special to me is almost an understatement!  The people who come here, whether it be on Sunday morning to worship, or simply come to quilt, or to some other function, they are like an extension of my own family and I love them all very much, they truly are special people to me.  So when there is a stumble on this road, it’s tough too!

I came home the other night from a meeting at the church, it was a long one, lot’s to talk about, and of course, it involved some changes.  I will spare you the details, but I know that there were some people there who were unhappy when they left, some more so than others.  Anyone who knows me well, knows that I don’t like tension with in a group, especially a group of people whom I care for.  When I left, my heart was heavy and it was hurting.  This is a stumble in our road, but at least we are still on the road, and I think that should count for something.

Someone else who was at the meeting said the following words from James 2:17 “faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.”  I have thought so much about that the last 2 days and it is has amazed me!!  Just for example, when we get into our cars to go to work in the morning, we have faith that it will get us there.  Does our car sometimes break down?  Sure it does, but we get it fixed (or a new one) and we’re still on the road.  When the farmer plants his crops in the spring, he plants them on Faith, right…for rain and sunshine.  Does the farmer stumble?  Of course!!  But he is out there again the next spring with the same faith.  Think about everything, and I mean EVERYTHING you do throughout your day and take note of how much faith it requires to make it through until bedtime.  It’s amazing!!

My point is this: WE WILL ALL HAVE STUMBLES IN OUR ROADS, but it doesn’t mean the journey is over!  It could mean that it is just beginning, and who knows, maybe it will take you to a place you’ve never been before.  Sure, it’s scary, but at least we’re still on the road!

“LEARN THE WISDOM OF COMPROMISE, FOR IT IS BETTER TO BEND A LITTLE THAN TO BREAK.”

You Character, You!

This quote is one of the best that I have seen in a long time, and my how true that is!!  I also like the one that says something like “Just because you go to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in the garage makes me a car.”

The last thing I want to do is start a debate on religion or Christianity, but why is it that so many “self-proclaimed Christians” out there don’t back up their words with actions.  I am far from perfect, I sin, I swear on occasion, I gossip, I can be judgemental, but I also smile at strangers, donate money to charitable causes, volunteer my time, and I go to church almost every Sunday!  No one is truly perfect, but does that mean that we should stop trying to be?

I am going to issue a challenge to everyone who reads this.  Let’s start small, starting with your family members…say something nice to them every day, something like “you look nice” or “I appreciate you” things along those lines.  Do the same things with your friends or acquaintances that you meet in your day-to-day lives.  Next, let’s get a little bigger, when you see someone you don’t know on the street or in a store, say hello to them, or give them a compliment, just say something nice to them.  You might wonder, what if they scowl at me or don’t say anything back?!?  That’s ok….But what if they do?  Next, and only do this if you can afford it, make a donation to your local food pantry or homeless shelter.  You don’t even have to buy anything to do this, just go through your cupboards and put together somethings that you maybe have had for a while and don’t think you’ll need.  Take them to the respective places and donate them, it makes your heart warm.  The last thing that I want to challenge you to do is to Pay It Forward, and again, only do this if you can afford it.  If you are in the grocery store line and you think someone might benefit from having you pay for their items, do it.  If you are in a restaurant, pay for some else’s meal, if you know of someone who could use a boost of any kind, just do it!  There are tons of ways to Pay It Forward…and some day, the person or people who you helped, might be in a position to do the same for someone else, and they will remember what you did for them, and they will Pay It Forward too!

See how it works?  It’s not hard, but for some, it might be considered uncomfortable.  You know what though, being uncomfortable can be good, and it can lead to good things!!  Try it, you might like it 🙂

So, after you leave your pew on Sunday, remember, that is when the true test of character  begins…try it for a week.  Keep track of all the things you did, and even though God will already know, give Him an update…he’ll smile and your heart will be full.  You never know, you might have just been someones miracle!

Your Heart Needs to be Big!

I’m pretty sure that I have mentioned this before, but I am an only child, therefore, I have no siblings to claim, which also means that I don’t have any niece’s or nephew’s (of “my own”), but my hubby is the oldest of 4 children and both of his sisters have kids.  Sadly, we only get along with 1 of the sisters, and she has 4 children of her own…one of which is getting married today!!

We so wish that we could have been there to celebrate with her, but it just wasn’t a good time for us to be traveling, but I hope that she knows that we will be with her in thought and spirit.  Love you Sabrina girl ❤

This morning I jokingly told my youngest daughter, who is going to turn 20 in June, that the next one in the family to get married will probably be either her or her sister.  She, of course, said that Anna could have the honor of being the first sister married.  Let me just be clear that I am in NO hurry to marry them off just yet, but the truth is, you just never know what will happen or when.

Being the mom of daughters was definitely a challenge, and I only had 2!!  Kudos to all you moms out there who have 3 or 4 or more girls in your house…I love my girls to the end of the earth, but honestly don’t think I could have handled more than what I had,  good thing God was already taking care of that for me lol!!  Also, being a parent of 2 kids when I grew up in a single kid house hold was, and continues to be one of life’s greatest challenges for me…I pray every day that I have done them well.

By no means am I going to claim that Mark and I were perfect parents!  I think that our main goal was to make sure that our kids knew right from wrong, to do the right thing no matter how hard it is, how to treat people with respect and most of all to make sure they know that they are loved and how to love others.  Since I am their mother, I can say that I know that both of my girls have flaws, some they have had since day one, and others they have developed along their life journey.  Since I am their mother, I can also get away with saying that who ever ends up with my kids will need a great deal of patience (and I say that with all the love in my heart).

When they find “the one”, my greatest hope is that he has a BIG heart!  It needs to be big enough to love her, ALL of her, including her flaws.  It needs to be big enough to love her UNCONDITIONALLY, on her good days as well as her bad days…and trust me, there will be bad days!  It needs to be big enough to respect her, her beliefs, thoughts, hopes, and dreams.  It needs to be big enough to be able to stand beside her, and to support her, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.  It needs to be big enough to love her family…we love BIG, so consider this your warning!

If you are truly “the one” for her, in return, her heart will be just as big!  It has been said that the heart is the strongest muscle in the human body, but it must always be handled with care.  It can be so easily broken by something as simple as harsh words, or actions.  If she gives you her heart and you give her yours, that is a BIG responsibility…don’t take it lightly.

Closing thoughts for today’s post:  Love will not look like a fairy tale in the movies.  Sometimes it might, but most of the time, love is messy.  Love is hard.  Love is scary, but don’t be afraid to experience it!  Love is wonderful, and love is powerful!  Open your heart, accept love…Pure love, honest love, TRUE love.  Give love and get love…

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  ~1 Corinthians 13:4-7

 

How Bad, Really, is your Inconvenience?

I have had somethings weighing “heavy” on my heart as of late, so I want to apologize in advance, this has the potential to be a lengthy post.  My hope is that by sharing this story, it will just open a few eyes to the fact that not everyone has the same reality.

My husband is the most wonderful, kind, caring, loving, and on and on person, and he has the patience of a saint…not kidding!  To most folks, it would appear that nothing bothers him, nothing upsets him and that he just goes with the flow, and for the most part, I would agree.  Mark and I got together in 1991 and both of us very young.  Oh sure, we had dated other people before but nothing serious.  Since the first time we went out, I knew that Mark was sent to me by God.  Now, I’m sure that you are all saying “yeah, everyone says that” or think it’s that standard cliche…but here’s the shortened version of our back story.

Just before Mark and I began dating, the person who I considered to be my best friend died.  I was 14 years old the day he died and I was devastated!  At that point in my life, I had never lost anyone close to me before, this type of grief was all new to me, it was the first time I had ever seen my dad cry.  I was 15 years old when we laid him to rest.  How can that be you ask, you just said you were 14?  His funeral was on my 15th birthday, you can bet that is one I will never forget!  Fast forward approximately 2 weeks from that day, Mark and I went on our first date.  Hank (my friend) always told me that he would have to “approve” of any boy who was going to date his “little sister”, and almost from the beginning I could see the slightest similarities in the two of them.  Is it a coincidence that Mark came into my life so soon after?  I don’t think so and that is why I say that he truly was sent to me by God (with a little help).

On to the meat and potatoes of this post!  When two people are as close as Mark and I are, when something/someone hurts one of us, it’s like they hurt us both.  Same way with parents and kids, someone or something hurts your children, it hurts you as a parent and it sucks!

At the end of April 2014, Mark was injured at work and required rotator cuff surgery.  If any of you have had this or have cared for someone with this injury, it is brutal.  It is one of the toughest surgeries therefore one of the toughest to recover from.  Just like with anything else, once it is taken from you, you don’t realize it’s importance.  6 months he was off work, much of that time spent at physical therapy working to get motion and strength back for his return to work.  He had to sleep in a recliner, he was in pain, swollen, bruised and inconvenienced! (I have a reason for using that particular word, so bare with me)  He did recover enough to go back to work and resume a, somewhat normal, but limited lifestyle, however there were still things that were off limits.  18 months is what it takes a shoulder to be 100% healed after the date of surgery, his was May 8th.

14 months later, July 2015.  Mark falls at work, falls on the same shoulder that was repaired the year before.  Shortening up the story, started out with therapy thinking that would help, therapist notices something not right with Mark’s neck. (Neck takes precedence over shoulders)  Turns out the fall had also resulted in 2 herniated disks.  Back to therapy to no success.  Mark has surgery on his neck to remove said disks.  Recovers nicely from surgery, but guess what? Can’t go to therapy because shoulder doc has him on lifting restrictions.  We wait.  Shoulder doc says he needs another surgery on previously repaired shoulder to remove a MASSIVE amount of scar tissue, causing him pain.  December 29, 2015 this is done.  But…he still needs to have surgery on his left shoulder because when he fell, he fell SO HARD, that he damaged his left shoulder too!  Mark has not yet been cleared by the therapist yet as “stable enough” to have his surgery because he will not be able to use his left hand for ANYTHING!!!  Just this week has started strengthening therapy.  Today is February 9, 2016.

Let me tell you a little secret.  Mark has not ONCE complained about his pain, his bruises, the lack of sleep, NOT ONCE!  His attitude through this whole thing has been absolutely incredible and nothing but positive.  I’m not saying that there haven’t been rough days, but even those seem to be few and far between.

To jog your memory, I said that this happened at work, remember?  In most workplaces, everyone tends to get along, there are close friendships formed, bonds created, and it can feel very much like a family.  When someone is sick, or injured, or something happens people offer to help out in anyway they can or at least check in and see how you are feeling or getting along, especially the ones who you see daily or that are in authoritative positions.  I wish with all the fibers of my being that I could say that is the case in this situation, but unfortunately, it’s not.  Now, don’t get me wrong, there are those that who, when we see them out and about will ask about his progress and how things are going and wish him well, and those people are wonderful and much appreciated.

However, there are those that will go out of their way to avoid speaking or making any type of connection what so ever.  Just the other day, Mark was getting me a soda to bring to me at work and he saw a fellow custodian, not a word was spoken!  Mark, being the kind of person that he is, tried to initiate conversation…nothing but two, one word answers to the questions Mark had asked, didn’t even make eye contact in the process.  Again, I wish that I could say that this is the first time that this happened.  Please let me emphasize that I am NOT posting this in hopes of receiving pity or sympathy, I am simply trying to prove a point!

On the outside, Mark appears to be fine.  He looks healthy, he doesn’t need any help walking or eating, he can drive, most of the things that he needs to function day to day.  What is broken is on the inside and can’t be seen by us.  His muscles, his tissues, his nerves, etc., all that “stuff” on the inside of our bodies that we need to have to function at 100%.  We are all guilty of it, seeing someone who “looks ok” and just assuming that they are fine, but we have NO IDEA what they are going through or have had to deal with.

Here’s another secret.  From May 2014 to date, Mark has had a shoulder sling, the kind with the “wedge” that was worn for 7 weeks, a cervical collar that was worn for 6 weeks, a wrist brace that was worn for 2 months, another sling after the scar tissue removal that was worn for 6 weeks and soon, he will have another wedge sling to wear for another 6-7 weeks.  He doesn’t sleep for more than a few hours at a time, because he can’t get comfortable enough to sleep through the night.  The doctor has him “off of work until further notice” because his job is manual labor and in his body’s weakened state, it would do more harm to him than good and could undo all the “progress” that he has already made.

I am here to tell you that NO ONE would ever willingly or want to go through any of the things that Mark has gone through, and I can promise you that he would much rather be at work, than going through all of this as well.  So, to all of you who THINK you know anything about his situation and feel like you have been  inconvenienced by his absence at work, let me ask you this…Do you want to trade places with him?!?!?!

What I am hoping by sharing all of this with you is that truly, not all “disabilities” or injuries are outwardly apparent, but they are there and they are REAL!!  As I said earlier, unless you have had something like this or have cared for someone who has had a bad injury, you really don’t understand how hard it is to recover and to face the reality that this will probably be the new “normal”.  The last thing those people need are your judgments, your rude behavior, and your sideways stares!  What they need is your support, encouragement, and even a simple “Hey! How’s it going?”

I have been there through the entire ordeal, where else would I be?!?!  I have loved, supported, cared for, prayed for and watched him.  Everyday this man has worn a smile, and I do mean everyday, even on surgery days.  I have watched him be more concerned about how I am holding up than himself.  I have watched him watch me do things that he feels like he is “supposed” to do.  I have watched him become humble, and I have watched him become patient.

There is something good that can come from every bad.  If I had to pick my one good thing that has come from this bad is that I have learned the true meaning of “Don’t judge a book by the cover”.   I am going to have to ask Mark what his one good thing would be, but I know he’ll have one!  That is what I want everyone reading this to take from this story, don’t judge, treat people with respect, treat them like you would want to be treated, love them how God intended all to love each other…without prejudice.

One last thought, we are astutely aware that there are people all over, some even here close to home, who have been through things far worse than what Mark has had to endure and the last thing we want to do is take away from that, because EVERY life is important.  I just can’t stress enough…Just because someone “looks ok” to you, doesn’t mean that they are.  Mark still has a long road a head of him, but he will walk it proudly.  Thank you to those of you who understand and taken the time to understand.  You have no idea the impact that it has!!

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” ~Joshua 1:9

I Just Don’t Get It

Being raised an only child, I often found myself wondering what it would be like to have siblings.  I’m sure that if we had lived in town, I wouldn’t have though about it near as much, but since we lived in the country, it was more like “a girl and her dog”.  Most of my friends from school had older or younger siblings, even my mom and dad have siblings!  So, it was only natural that I would wonder what it was like right?

They used to say, “trust me, it’s not really that great”.  My mom would even tell me stories about how her brother had left her at school once because she wasn’t at the car when it was time to go!  I would hear things from my friends too about how there brother or sister would do things to them and I always just thought it was silly!  Why does it matter who sits in the front seat of the car, as long as you get IN the car!!

During the summers when I was growing up, my cousin (who lived in Lincoln at the time) would come out and stay with us to help out with irrigation, walking beans, chopping musk thistle, etc. To me, that was as close as it came to having a sibling.  It wasn’t bad, what is all the hype about??  We shared the basement, the bathroom and the Atari quite well.  I began to think that my friends were just doing something wrong.

One summer, however, something was different.  To this day, I don’t know what was different, but let’s just say that I ended up getting folded up in our hide a bed couch, and I just know that it wasn’t my fault….right???  At any rate, I started to think that maybe my friends were right.  I can also remember on one occasion when my aunt and uncle came to pick Jim up at the end of the summer, Jeff (Jim’s younger brother) decided that it would be a good time to chase me with frogs!!  Let me assure you, this was much more fun for the boys than it was for me!  However, looking back, that provided us with some wonderful memories, and I have since been told that if the opportunity ever arises again, he would chase me with a frog again….Great!

Something that I have struggled with as a mom for quite a while now is the “sibling dynamic”.  I don’t understand it and I doubt I ever will.  The reason that I bring it up is this…my kids.  One day, they are best friends and the next day I wouldn’t be able to pay them to get along!  I don’t understand.  One day, they are telling the world on Facebook how much love they have for one another, and the next, they are calling me telling me how much they hate each other!  I don’t understand.  My husband, who is the oldest of 4 kids assures me that this is normal.  HUH?!?!?

The fact of the matter is, I don’t think I will ever understand this simply because I didn’t grow up with anyone else always being around and “borrowing” my stuff.  Even though the disagreements seem silly and meaningless to me, to my kids they are obviously not and while I try very hard to understand, I fall so short to do so.  While it is frustrating for me because I don’t “get it”, it is equally frustrating for them because I don’t “get it!”  All three of them have told me that this is something that can not be explained, it has to be lived….That’s great, I’m doomed!

If I rubbed a magic lamp and a Genie popped out and said I could have only 1 wish, my wish would be this:  That my kids continue to love each other, that they remain close, even though the world will take them away from each other, that they will ALWAYS have each others backs NO MATTER WHAT, that they are happy and remember to share in each others joys and to be there for each other when times are tough, that they remember where they came from, to remember that they were created out of love, to be kind to each other.  Most of all though, my wish is that they appreciate each other.  Appreciate the bonds of sisters, grow closer together as you get older, don’t loose touch with one another and NEVER EVER take one another for granted.  That last one’s tricky!!

As a parent, we do our very best to give our kids the best of everything, and even somethings that we ourselves growing up didn’t have.  The thing that I gave my kids was each other.  I might not “get it”, but I do know that it is a truly wonderful gift…it can be fragile, so handle with care ❤

Sibling relationships outlast marriages, survive the death of parents, resurface after quarrels that would sink any friendship.  They flourish in a thousand incarnations of closeness and distance, warmth loyalty and distrust. ~ Erica E. Goode

It Really Is A Big Deal!

I told you in my first blog post that I am adopted and I also told you that I would talk more about that later.  Well, it’s later!!  In recent days, adoption has been at the front of my brain and it is simply just because I have learned of a couple of other people in my town that are also adopted.  I don’t know why, but I always find this interesting.

My adoption has never been a “big deal” in the sense that I don’t go around telling everyone that I meet or shouting it from the hilltops, but I also don’t keep it a secret either.  It has never been a secret, it’s one of those things that you just know, ya know?  I never really thought too much about it, oh sure, growing up I had questions, but all of our extended family always treated me the same as they did everyone else so why did I have any reason to think that being adopted was a “big deal”?

When I began a family of my own, my thoughts about my adoption changed.  My first thought was that this was my first blood relative that I know!  What a weird thought huh??  I had never really thought about searching for my bio parents, I already have parents and I love them…I didn’t have a “need” for any more.  My husband told me that maybe I should, if for nothing else than a health history, which I thought wasn’t a bad idea either.  Admittedly hesitant, the search began.  It’s hard to believe that was 13 years ago!

I don’t want to bore you with all of the details, so fast forward.  My bio mom was located, we exchanged letters and arranged to meet.  My mom, husband, and kids all went with me and we met up in Lincoln, had lunch and just got acquainted.  I won’t lie, it was stressful but informative (on sooo many levels) all at the same time.  We found out that I was her 3rd child out of 5, the younger 2 (a boy and a girl) came with her to lunch.  We talked about health history, after all that was the reason that all of this started!  After the meal, my mom, kids and hubby went back to our motel, talked a little about lunch and honestly, that was that!

Staying in touch with her proved, shall we say, interesting.  I would write letters that would go unanswered, however, my younger “sister” did come and stay with us for a couple of weeks and when we took her back home, that was the only other time we have seen the bio’s, and let me just say, that is OK!  One of the last correspondence that I had with them was a birthday card that was sent to me.  This was a defining moment for me…I opened it up only to find that “bio mom” couldn’t even sign her own name to the card!!  At that moment, I decided that trying to keep in contact with her was not in anyone’s best interests and again, I will say that is OK!

After coming back from taking our house guest home, we stopped at my parents house.  When I saw them, I went to them and hugged them as tight as I could, shed some tears and thanked them.  They may not have given birth to me, but they definitely gave me LIFE, and trust me, there is a difference!  For that, I will forever be grateful to them.

The rest of that weekend, I spent a lot of time in meditation about how my life would have been had it not been for my adoption.  I would have not had the opportunity to grow up on a farm in rural Nebraska, I would not have made the friends that I have, gone to the school I did, honestly, there is a good possibility that I may not have even graduated!!  I thought about my parents, a lot, about how without them, I would not be the person that I am today.  It has been said that family is not about blood, but who wants you in theirs.  I believe that to be true.

My hubby, the one who started this whole process, was beside me every step of the way, and that is something that I will owe him for forever!  Needless to say, I am grateful everyday for the way things turned out, for how my life is today.  Am I glad that I did it, sure.  Am I upset that I no longer have contact with “bio mom”, nope!  My adoption was a wonderful thing and continues to be a wonderful thing to this day and I am truly blessed.  I guess being adopted is a “Big deal” after all!!

Snoring…how bad is it, really?

How many of you gals out there have a man in your life that snores? I recently read that roughly HALF of all adult men snore, so I’m guessing that there are quite a few ladies out there who deal with a snorer, like I do.

Now, if you’re like me at all, there are some nights when you lay in bed and listen to the sound just wishing and waiting for him to roll over and for the snoring to stop so you can finally get to sleep!  

I am aware that there are different noise levels when it comes to snoring, sometimes you can barely tell, sometimes it can be just loud enough to be annoying, and other times…well, let’s just say, it’s hard to sleep next to a freight train!! Most of the time, that is the level that I deal with at my house.

While this is not the most enduring quality of a sleeping partner, it certainly isn’t the worst thing ever, right?  I’m not convinced of that just yet 😁.

Recently, however, I have decided something. It will definitely shock a couple of people when they read this, but that’s ok. I have decided that even though the sound of his snoring every night is equivalent (in my mind) to fingernails on a blackboard, there is something much worse, the sound of silence.

In the midst of all of the hours of missed sleep, all of the “honey, roll over, your snoring”, the thoughts of putting a pillow over his face in hopes of getting to sleep before it starts again, if the sound of snoring didn’t fill up my bedroom at night, that would mean that I would not have my best friend beside me, and that would be much worse than any amount of night time noise.

Once we step back and think about the alternatives, I guess snoring isn’t so bad. But that doesn’t mean it’s not still annoying 😉

  

Going over the Edge

I have been known to say that a person should not jump to conclusions, they could jump to far and go over the edge! Right?!?! I think part of jumping to conclusions is closely related to being a bit close minded, and that just happens to be one of my pet peeves.

Now, I’m not saying that I have never jumped before and I’m sure that I have been close minded on more than one occasion, but haven’t we all? However, I don’t think that it is necessary to have that reaction EVERY TIME something happens that you don’t like or agree with, especially if you are and adult (of “mature” age)!

There is a saying that goes “with age comes maturity, and with maturity comes wisdom” I would agree with half of this statement…the second half! From what I have seen the last couple of days, there is absolutely NO proof that maturity and age go hand in hand, and that makes my heart hurt. 

I just don’t even know what to think about certain things that have transpired or the people who are making things more difficult than they need to be. I guess I will just deal with them like I dealt with my kids when they would tell me they didn’t love me anymore (when they were little and in the middle of a temper tantrum). I would simply say to them “that’s fine, I don’t like the way you’re acting right now, but I still love you!”, then I would walk away and let them finish their tantrum in “peace”.

Admittedly it would be a pretty boring world if we all were of the same opinions, but I really do feel like if everyone would take the time and listen to one another and find common ground so that harmony could be achieved…our world would be so much better off. But, until that time comes, if you’re going to have a temper tantrum…go away and do it in “peace”!

How about we try and fix it before we screw it up even worse!!!

Alright!  I’ve been wanting to post this for a few days now, but quite frankly, just haven’t had the time, but today is the day!!  A few weeks ago, a story started emerging about some website client list being hacked, the website was ahsleymadison.com.  To be honest, I didn’t pay much attention to what it was, then I start hearing Jimmy Fallon refer to it in some of his monologues, so I ask my husband if he knows what it is that they’re joking about.  To which he replies “I have no idea!”  OK, so I decide to look it up and find out for myself.

I was SO not ready for what I found!!  I was immediately infuriated.  This is their tag line: “Ashley Madison; Have an affair Guaranteed.  Life is Short, Have an Affair”  WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  This is absolutely NOT ok!  It is the farthest away from ok that is traveling away from ok..  My first thought was, “do we really need a website for this?”  There seems to be no shortage of people having affairs, but now they have help!!  My second thought was, “who was the IDIOT that created this website?”, and I am assuming that it was someone who was not happy in their marriage and instead of trying to work out their differences, they cheated and decided it was a great money-maker.  **eye roll**

News flash!!  Marriage is hard people, and to have a good, happy and successful marriage, it takes work…hard work!  In today’s “throw away” society, it is so easy when something gets broken to just throw it away and get a new one.  Somethings, however, can still be fixed.  Marriage is not just a piece of paper, it’s not just about changing your last name, or tradition.  Marriage is a commitment, a bond shared between 2, yes, ONLY 2 people.  If you are truly unhappy in your marriage, there are other ways to deal with it, but cheating is definitely NOT the answer.  All marriages are tough sometimes, but that is what makes them strong and good!

So, to whoever started this website I just want to say SHAME ON YOU!  And to the people who are using this website, the same goes for you, SHAME ON YOU!  I don’t know how you can sleep at night, or look at yourself in the mirror and be happy with what is looking back at you.  I agree though, life is short…don’t waste it having an affair, ruining lives, wrecking homes.  If your marriage is going through a rough spot, take time to stop and think about what made you fall in love in the first place.  Think about the first time you met, or your first kiss, your first date.  Think about how beautiful or handsome your spouse looked on your wedding day, the day your children were born, whatever you need to do to remember how in love you were, and talk about what you can BOTH do to be that in love with each other again.

If there truly is no hope left for your relationship, then let each other go before moving on.  It is not going to be easy, but it is the respectful thing to do and it’s the decent thing to do!

Trust: it takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair.

Entertainment at my expense :-)

My husband and I met when I was very young, I was still in high school in fact. He had graduated and was working a full time job already! He is 6 years my senior, and at the time, it was kind of a big deal…he was 21 I was 15, but I digress. Just last month we celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary, and I cannot wait to see what the next 21 (hopefully more) bring our way!

To give you a little history on Mark, he is known to be a bit of a prankster. Even as a kid, according to his mom and younger sisters, he was, what is classified as “ornery”.  It didn’t take me long to figure this out on my own! Over the years, I have been on the receiving end of many of these pranks, but don’t worry, I have had my retribution:)

One of my favorite stories to remember, one that makes me laugh the most, happened when we were still pretty new into our relationship. I am TERRIFIED of snakes, to the point that I feel like I could have a heart attack and die if I was startled by one! So, we were driving around in his pickup and we needed gas. We pulled into a gas station and he asks me “Would you like a drink or snack?” I said, “Sure, I don’t care what, whatever you want is fine, get something we can share.” He finishes gassing up and goes into the station. 

The weather on this day was beautiful, we drove around with the windows down, it was sunny, but cool. It was fall, and the air smelled like harvest. The trees where shades of oranges, reds, and yellows, and with the gentle breeze, leaves were beginning to fall. The pick up was a 1976 Chevy with a bench seat, and of course, I was in the middle.

He comes out of the station and he’s carrying a bag, that I could tell, only contained a single bag of chips. My first thought was, that’s strange,why would he get a sack for a single bag of chips? As he handed me the sack through the window, I noticed that he was kind of smirking, and he had a twinkle in his eye. He stood beside the pickup for a few seconds and finally he asks if his selection was ok, I said that it was.

It was about that time that I was reaching in to open the bag, I put my hand on the bag and tore it open….only to end up screaming at the top of my lungs and flinging the bag out of the window into the parking lot!! I turn only to see Mark belly laughing and waving at the attendant inside! Why, you ask? Mark thought it would be funny to buy a very small plastic fake snake and put it in with the bag of chips, head up!! So when I reached in and opened the bag, when I looked down, guess what I saw!! That’s right…a “fake” snake! While he was making his purchase, he clued the clerk in on his plan and even told her to “watch this “. 

Mark leaned over and picked up our snack and walked around to his side and gets in, still chuckling. While the snake was fake, my fear was not! I can only imagine the look on my face, which I’m sure was the source of most of the humor (for the spectators), that and my tossing the chips out the window! When he got in, he put his arm around me, kissed my cheek and told me he loved me. 

We look back on many of our pranks now and we share some laughs over them. This is one of the many things that I love about my hubby. Fair warning, no one is exempt to his pranks!! What’s even better, is when he gets pranked back, he doesn’t get mad, he just starts plotting his “revenge” 🙂  

Some people would not appreciate this type of thing in their relationship, but I happen to love it for one reason, it creates absolutely wonderful memories! Memories that are full of fun and laughter. 

“You live and learn, and if you can provide perfect strangers with a little entertainment along the way, so much the better.” ~Tracey Englebreght